Through media and charity work, I’ve been promoting sexual awareness for a number of years. Media portrayal of sexual subjects can be, with some exceptions, at best lacking, often judgemental and unhelpful, and at worst harmful. Anyone looking for help online or in the press might rapidly become confused. It’s not, therefore, surprising that people embraced 50 Shades of Grey so enthusiastically, despite its many shortcomings.
A long time ago, I had a sex advice column in Esquire called ‘Not Like That You Don’t!'; a sex advice column in Time Out from 2002-04; a radio show, Midnight Sex Talk, on Resonance FM, from 2004-06; and I was involved with the annual charity Erotic Awards from 2004-08. Telling people I was involved in sex media wasn’t always straightforward. I remember being at a literary awards party about 10 years ago, telling someone about the projects I’ve mentioned above. A knowing little smile came over the person’s face, with the words, ‘Yes, but what do you really want to be doing?’ They simply could not understand why someone would want to write and broadcast about sex, despite its fundamental place in all our lives. Things seem to have improved quite a lot since then. There seems to be a place for people to be much more open about their (current and/or past) lifestyles, and this can only be a good thing.
I’m now getting involved with Sense About Sex, a network of therapists, writers, researchers, educators and activists, coming together to engage publicly with sex education and the way the media portrays sex. There is a lot of work to be done. Their most popular and far-reaching project so far, from 2013, is Bad Sex Media Bingo, a great education tool for anyone wanting to create media about sex. Watch pretty much any sex-related TV programme, or read most sex-related articles, and play along – fun for all the (urban) family.
As a therapist working with sexual issues, I’m well aware of how much needs to be done around awareness of GSD (Gender and Sexual Diversities) in therapy. This is reflected by the need for GSD training in mainstream psychotherapy (as well as training around mainstream sexual issues full stop) and within sex therapy itself. Watch this space.
